odd

So I finished reading the first book in the Twilight series last night, and I can't wait to read the others! But I'll probably have to wait till I get to Harding to borrow the next one. Anyway, since I finished my "casual" reading I opened up my Bible to read before I went to bed, and I randomly opened up to Galatians 5. Verses 13-17 were very interesting in light of what I had just been reading, and verse 15 was almost too ironic: "If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other."

The coincidence made me smile. :)

On a completely different note, I got my mom various soaps from Bath and Body works for her birthday over the summer. One of the scented soaps I got her was "Sensual Amber" because I like that scent a lot. BUT I like it on girls only. She keeps it in the guest bathroom and I just absentmindedly used it when I washed my hands...I have got to remember to NEVER use it again. Because it is a very feminine and...idk...attractive aroma to me...and its awkward to have it on my own hands. I need to go wash my hands with some other soap just to get it off!

It is 46 minutes into Christmas for everyone on the East Coast. I better get to bed and get those sugar plums dancing! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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day of rest? ha!

I haven't updated my blog in a while...I'm sorry. I've been quite busy. I had a 2-hour managerial finance test today, 4 quizzes due, a read thru for Megan's show, and 2 group project meetings.

That's a lot to do in one day...on a Sunday no less.

I think by Thursday though I should be done besides finals! Almost there!

In case you don't know, Kevin and I officially have an apartment now. I believe the number is 125? Anyway, it's below Jordan and Matthew, right across from Kaity, and near the Colvins. It's gonna be great!

Bad news: my iMac as a verticle line of pixels all the way down the screen that are messing up. This is very upsetting. It doesn't keep me from seeing anything, it's just annoying. Also, I believe I have some sort of cut back in my throat...this developed Friday night. It has made every meal since then torture...it kills to swallow. And it kinda hurts to talk so if I'm talking funny, that's why. I hope it goes away soon!

Not much of an update...but it's something. Anyhoo...I'm gonna get ready for bed...i hope to get 5 hours of sleep before I wake up early to finish working on one of the projects.

I have 2 presentations and one skit for tomorrow; please pray that they go well!

...it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...everywhere you go ;)

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Putting my foot down

Last night I barely slept...it was rough. I have a lot on my mind. I woke up today in a bad mood. Then I thought to myself: "NO! I am not going to have another bad day." So I am forcing myself to have a good day. So far, it's been working :). And chapel helped me not to have to force myself quite as much. It was probably the best chapel I've been to.

Thank you friends for just being there for me. Even if I don't tell you what's going on, it still really helps that you care enough to ask.

If I am or have been snippy to any of you, I am really sorry.

Today is a good day. <3

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joy

I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't know what to do.




It hurts.




"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds..."

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i have never done anything like this

I stole this from Steve. Thanks steve.

If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else right now, do you think they would be mad?
um. no.

How do you know the last person you were in a car with?
I met Natalie February '07...great friends since!

Where were you at 10:17 pm last night?
Attempting to cuddle with Josh Strickland's psychotic cat Tigger. I'm still alive. For that I am grateful.

Besides this, what are you doing right now?
i'm about to take a shower and head to bed

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
Don't plan to be

Who did you last tick off?
I don't know...Natalie? Amber? Josh? Kevin? they don't usually tell me...

Who gave you advice recently?
Josh Strickland

What is something you disliked about your day?
My freaking horribly short haircut.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night
Yep...having a weird dream...

Someone just handed you $100,000. Now what?
I would probably put almost all of it in savings...give some to a good cause...help out a friend...buy a Apple laptop.

Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh?
Yeah, it is.

What's been different this year?
Being in beautiful (ha!) Arkansas pretty much the entire year

Meet anyone new this year?
yep!

What was the last thing you drank?
Water

Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
yep!

Did you have a dream last night?
yep! but it's one that would probably be embarrassing to talk about...

Did you get anything off your chest today?
no, not really

What are you thinking about right now?
that dream...

Who would you do anything for?
Well...i wouldn't do just anything...however, within reason I would probably do as much as I could for any person.

Last place you hugged someone?
Ulrey

Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
Mrs. Williams

Is there anything stressing you out currently?
Of course...

Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
Yes...I was miserable last year at this time.

Who are you missing the most right now?
I don't know...

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Josh Decker

What are you NOT looking forward to?
Group projects

Do you plan on moving out of your parents house next year?
?

How late did you stay up last night and why?
I honestly don't know exactly...I am pretty sure I got to bed before curfew though...2 days in a row! amazing. I had just got back from watching Remember the Titans with Mary, Steve, and Tessa.

Is there any meaning behind your profile song?
what?

Can you keep a secret?
Yes I can. I seem to have a lot to keep recently too...

Do you wish on 11:11?
Yeah...when I remember...hey! it's almost November 11th...and 3 more years till 2011...POWER WISH!

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
No, Megan is wonderful

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
Well...Kevin of course, but other than that, Josh I think

Who's the most annoying person you know?
I don't know. I try not to rank people too much.

Do you know someone with the same birthday as you?
I know there is someone...but it has slipped my mind...

If your ex called you right now, would you answer?
Yep, it would be very interesting to talk to her...

Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past month?
nope.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
Not in any romantic sense.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with M?
hmm...let me think about this...it might take a while to cycle through...
yea...wait...no...no i haven't

When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
Really really hard? that's sounds powerful...I cried relatively hard early in the semester...

Who took your profile picture?
Facebook? That'd be Deborah Francisco then

What's on the schedule for tomorrow?
Church, eat lunch at Mrs. Horton's house, work in computer lab, work on group project, party at Mr. Lynn's, go house sit, wash laundry, bed...

Do you want someone dead?
No!

Do you miss anyone?
Sure do.

Do you listen to your friends' advice when they give it to you?
Of course. My friends are usually wiser than I...

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
I fell asleep watching the George Lopez show.

Would you rather get up earlier or sleep in?
Well, if I got to bed early the night before, I like mornings.

Do you trust people?
Yes. Not blindly though.

When was the last time you had your hair cut?
10 hours ago...ugh. before today it was about 3 months.

Is the last person you made out with mad at you?
she doesn't exist. however i hope she wouldn't be mad if she did.

Will this Friday be a good one?
Dark Knight is showing! How can it NOT be?

Can you read other people's expressions?
I have gotten to where I can read my friends quite well...even if I don't let on that I can.

When was the last time something bothered you?
now.

Have you ever stayed in a hotel?
Of course.

How did you feel when you woke up today?
I HAVE TO PEE! (that seems to be how I usually wake up...)

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
Not long at all. I was so tired I fell asleep with my glasses on...which I never do.

What's in your pocket?
I'm actually typing this with just my boxer briefs on. TMI...sorry

Where did you buy the shirt(s) you're wearing now?
N/A (see above)

What are you listening to?
The TV on Nick at Nite. And the fan.

Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
oh dear no.

Last female you slept in the same room with?
Amber/Megan.

Do you get along with your mom?
Yes. Very well.

How have you felt today?
A little blah and mellow at times...really good at others...I have mood swings.

Do you know if anyone likes you?
Well, there are girls that flirt with me a lot...i think some like me...
maybe I'm being presumptuous

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The Beginning

This week...I have been nostalgic. Probably because I have actually had time to think about stuff besides school and Oklahoma since the musical is now over. I have the feeling this might be a really long post. We shall see.

-----Almost Two Years Ago----

It's been almost two years since my Harding friendships started to form. Thanks to "Hush: An Interview with America" -- a play my now-sister-in-law Kaeli directed for Junior credit.

I can't quite remember if tryouts were right after or right before the musical that year. All I remember is that Kaeli was really encouraging me to try out, so I got my friend Josh Spill to go with me too to make it a little less nerve wracking. It was my first play to ever try out for. It had always been a secret desire of mine before this to be on stage, but I had never had much of a chance. So I went to tryouts, went to an intramural football game, went to callbacks, and then had to wait for the cast list to be posted. I was really excited when I saw my name was on the list! Kaeli probably pity cast me, but eh...whatever works!

So then rehearsals started...long rehearsals. Suddenly I had no time. Even though I was a small part...I remember being there a lot. No longer did I go to bed at 10:00 every night. From the start, and a for while after, I kept to myself during rehearsals. I brought books to read or school to work on and sat by the side. Josh told me he couldn't tell at first if I was shy or snooty, and that he didn't know how to approach me at first...haha.

From then on I started to develop friendships that have been some of the best I've ever had. We had some pretty fun times backstage!

-Kevin was the first person on the cast to make a definite move toward friendship with me. We would spend a lot of time talking and getting to know eachother back stage. I remember him saying he wanted to quit - he hated his part ("RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG"). It made the audience laugh though.

-Josh always cracked me up. "I got a hot tip you got a cold thug up a fruit tree." Haha. He was hamming it up most of the time...making hand shadows, testing the Fruit Loops, lifting up Fish's lion tail, etc. The Josh we know and love. I'm sure at times Kaeli wanted to kill him! He made the show a lot of fun.



-I didn't really get to know Fish that well during the show. My first lamb scene we got to roar at each other...and then I scampered off. I was fortunately was not there for the rehearsal he accidentally pulled Josh's pants and boxers off. I feel sorry for all involved! I know I would have died right then and there if he had done that to me.



-Amber, being the lead, was always on stage and I didn't have a whole lot of contact with her. I wanted to. During the last week we talked a little more...like most shows you bond more as it gets closer to being done. I did have my last scene with her...where I came out and comforted her and she fell asleep on my knee...I was SOO nervous! Because...well...I found her very fun and sweet and...yeah.



-Megan was the first female on the cast to make a definite move toward friendship with me. I remember being able to talk with her without being too awkward (I hope). I remember noticing she was a really hard worker. I remember feeling absolutely horrible after I had made a stupid comment about her hair in her diver's licence photo at Ihop after a performance. She might one day forgive me.

-I feel that I didn't really get to know Courtney that well during the show. I remember her being really nice to me, her singing along to the "Who I Am" song that played before the performances, and her being afraid of having to get up on that platform stage right.



--NOTE: Facebook was on the fritz so I couldn't add pictures of everyone...sorry.--

I could mention stuff about Caleb, Kristi, Lucas, Lolli, and Michelle, even Jaime, but this post is getting quite long. They are all really cool people, but after the show I didn't develop friendships with them like the others.

Our cast was really close, and I couldn't have gotten a better group of friends from the show. We shared a lot of good times together...on stage, backstage. And at Ihop :). And ever since then too! I thank them for taking that step toward me and helping me not be quite as shy. I have thought about what would have happened if I had never been in the play. I might have a couple of the frienships I have now, but I kind of doubt it. It's neat how God works things out.

I hope we're friends forever (BFF's!). Because forever can't feel very long when they're around. :)

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Curtain Call

well...
it's over...
sad to see it go...
I suppose...I shall cry myself to sleep tonight
:(

I'll miss it all
I'll have my time back
but I won't know what to do with all of it
sooo...
:/


great people
great fun
great experience
thank you everyone
:)

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Mom is here!
Till Monday!
Yay!

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One of those days...

...where everything is just great!!!!

Today was awesome
My mood was the best it's been in a while
And a lot of other cool things happened, such as:

There were free donuts for all in the Cone dorm

The weather was beautiful

It was Quiznos 2-for-1 day

My managerial finance class was canceled
We had Health and Safety today so our suite is nice and clean
I talked to my mom
We had our last rehearsal before Oklahoma opens

I have had some good days lately
and some days where I only pretend
but this was truly a great day
I hope these days come with more frequency!

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tidbits

For all of those who don't know: my mom is flying out next week to see me in the Oklahoma! homecoming musical here at Harding! I didn't expect anyone in my family to come and it was a great surprise!

The musical is coming along pretty well. I hope we get totally done on the blocking soon so I can work more on the actual acting part of the show. My lower back has really been hurting for the past 5 or so days...mainly when I'm sitting. I think I hurt it doing some lift or another with Marisa. Fortunately we didn't do any dancing today so it got a rest. It must get better soon!

We had our read through for The Patient today. Our practices will start up when Oklahoma! is done. Gerad is making us all speak in English accents...I'm excited...but I've never been good at those. I'm going to have to work on developing that.

I feel like I'm perpetually tired lately...I need a reprieve from this busy life. This next week and a half is probably going to be pretty stressful, but fortunately we have fall break this weekend! yay! I'm going to work all day Friday for Amber's dad doing what I did all summer. But Friday night and Saturday should be relaxing and fun!

Goodnight to one and all. <3

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Dear self

you are going to be disappointed a lot
because you sometimes hope for stuff that probably won't happen
or can't happen
but I know you too well to tell you to stop hoping
cause you won't stop
just try to learn from those times where you are let down. :)

sincerely,
me

ps...you should be studying for your tests instead of writing on your blog...get on that!

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little blessings

I talked to a friend tonight that I really haven't talked to a whole bunch. She was a friend from back in Los Alamos, but we haven't seen too much of each other for a long time. Although I did actually see her once over the summer when she was in Little Rock visiting family. But anyway, she was just really encouraging to me...she noticed that a couple of my status message on Facebook weren't exactly the happiest of late...and has been praying for me. It was really sweet of her. It's nice to find out people have been praying for you even though they have no idea what is going on with you.

These past two weeks have been kind of rough. At times I feel lost. But I just have to keep believing that God will make stuff better with time. Today was pretty good day. :)

Thank God for little blessings:
Looking up at the starry night sky
Getting and giving a hug
Playing at the park with friends
Swinging
Laughing

Ok, but I need sleep. Good night and sweet dreams everyone.

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i don't know what to say...

i'm just tired
tired of hope

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My day. And Bible study thoughts

I am sitting in the computer lab, and I can finally relax a little bit for the first time today. Although I probably really should be reading my Business Law book. But that can wait a few minutes.

My head popped off my pillow this morning and I had that strange sensation: "it's TOO bright in this room...I hope I didn't sleep through my alarm!" But I did. My computer wakes me up with a Relient K song every morning...but I had forgotten that I had my earphones plugged in instead of my speakers, so I didn't hear it. Anyway, I checked my phone and it said 8:24. Oooh, plenty of time to get ready for my 8:30 class!

Needless to say I shot out of bed and was pretty much dressed by the time my feet hit the ground. I slapped on my glasses because I didn't have time to put my contacts in, wet my hair so I looked slightly presentable, and bolted out the door. I texted Steve on my way to class to apologize for missing breakfast. We were supposed to meet at the caf at 8:00 (though it turned out that he overslept too and didn't get up till 10:20). I got to my class 2 minutes late, my head still in a whirl (you know that feeling). And I never got a chance to really catch my breath. After the class I had chapel, had 30 minutes to finish homework for my 11:30 class, went to that class, went to work for Oklahoma! build crew till 3:00, went and got that little white card from the payroll office for Ben Jones, had a Piper interview at 3:30, COBA cookout at 4:30, BITS meeting at 5:30, Piper callback dinner at 6:30. And now I'm here working the Mabee computer lab till 10:30 pm. *SIGH*

So... I guess I said all that to say...I'm glad my days aren't always like that.

----------------------------------------------------

Ok, so this is unrelated to the above story, but I didn't feel the need to make two separate posts. One gargantuan post should do just fine.

I have been able to go to Wednesday night Bible study for each of the three weeks so far this semester. The two semesters before I wasn't able to go because I had to work wednesday night in the computer lab.

But going again makes me realize just how much I missed it. It really makes my whole week much better. Wednesday is the start of the downhill roll to the weekend anyway, but Bible study makes Wednesday the highpoint of the school week. The first week I went to the Chalenburg's, which was really good. But B Chris said I should come back to the Bible study he co-leads at Miss Donna's house; King and Matt Love also help lead the bible study. I had gone to it multiple times Spring '07 and really enjoyed it. It's an all-male bible study, and it is absolutely AMAZING. There's an instant bond between all of us that go there and I feel that I could pretty much tell any of them anything about me and it'd be ok. Last night's study B Chris, Matt, and King told us all their life stories, mainly focusing on the sexual struggles they went though and how they were able to turn around. It's hard to describe the feeling I had last night. It was wonderful. It's such a great feeling to know you are surrounded by men of God.

Anyway, I'm going to try hard to make it every Wednesday night to a Bible study, whether it's at Miss Donna's, the Frye's, or at the Chalenburgs. Because I need it. I know my faith definitely needs to grow, especially since it has taken some big hits since last year. Last fall semester was the darkest time I've ever been through: spiritually, emotionally, physically...you name it. My relationships with pretty much everyone including God took a blow. And I'm deeply sorry for that. Fortunately God pulled me through! And I especially want to say thank you to one of my friends for helping me through also (she knows who she is)...she was a solid friend throughout (please don't take that to mean that I think she was the ONLY good friend I had during that semester. That wouldn't be true at all).

So...yes...Wednesday night Bible study is great. God is great. Friends are great. Family is great.

Please keep me in your prayers. I need God's help to know how I should deal with a couple of people (in completely unrelated ways). And I also am trying not to get my hopes up for being in Pipers as much as I did last year. But that's hard to do and I could use prayers for that too.

It is the anniversary of 9/11 :(.

----------------------------------------------------

I'm on the up and up. And I've got nothing left to lose.

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whatever...

so this semester it seems like a lot of my friends are in relationships (which is great! I am happy for them!) or are just plain busy.

...needless to say, i don't see them much. and a lot of my meals are being eaten with me, myself, and I...or with random people (if i feel extroverted that day).

it's hard for me to make new friends. i've always been one to stick with a smaller group of friends...not branch out and have 100...i don't think i could keep track of them all. i'm perfectly satisfied with a few close friends.

it'd be nice to have a group of friends like on the Friends TV show (clarification: i don't mean friends that sleep around with everyone all the time...i just mean a group of friends that will stick together no matter what). anyone want to move to New York with me!?!? haha...i am kidding. kinda.

i am hoping that i will be able to make a few more new friends...being in Oklahoma! might help.

and frankly, i don't know why i look forward to weekends, because some of them suck.

but on a happy note:

COWBOYS PLAY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i'm going to try...

... praying more

... reading my Bible more

... to control my thoughts from wandering at times when they shouldn't

... to be a better friend to my friends

... to discover what exactly my purpose here at Harding is

... to go to church more than once a week

... to start writing on my blog more often

... to work out 2-3 times a week, and run some too

... to STOP SCRATCHING MY LEGS EVEN THOUGH THEY REALLY ITCH BECAUSE A WHOLE SQUAD OF NUCLEAR MOSQUITOES ATTACKED THEM FRIDAY NIGHT.

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doesn't make sense

Harding/Searcy has pretty much become my home away from home. In some ways it's more of a home to me than Charlotte. I know and love so many people here, and have learned so much over my time here.

Which is why it is weird that sometimes I wish I could just leave. Or wish that I had never come at all.

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start of summer

I'm now in Searcy for the summer! I'm looking forward to being here a lot...I think it will be fun. I had a nice visit back home with the family. I got to see my Nanny and Pappa, which was great - I hadn't seen them for around 5 years! My Pappa just had his 80th birthday and has Parkinsons, but he looked like he was doing quite well. The week before I got there he played sand volleyball, and was one of the best on the court. I also went up to Jess and Kaeli's apartment for one evening. They seem to be doing quite well. They have a really nice apartment, and Kaeli's temp job just turned into a permanent job. Overall it was a nice relaxing yet still somewhat busy week.

I just finished the application process for the summer job. And I start tomorrow at 7 in the morning! ugh. I'll have to get used to getting up early every day again.

I'm probably not going to be able to be on blogspot or facebook or aim a whole bunch during the summer. We don't get internet where Fish and I are in the basement...though we might work on getting a wireless router so we can have it. If not...I'll be using the Harding library computers!

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...

when a decision has to be made between two things I really want to do

and I can't say "both"

it's aggravating

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life trials of the shy and awkward

he looks at the girl
out of the corner of her eye
she notices his stare
she turns her head
their gazes unite
for one beautiful moment
"what?"
she giggles
"I...I..."
he stutters
"nothing"
he looks away

he doesn't say
he wanted to
he really wanted to
he hesitates
he couldn't make himself
he's always hesitated
instead of just leaping
he has let many chances pass
he knows now though
and next time
he'll say it

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Dear God,

I like how you don't give up on me
I like how quickly you comfort me when I talk to you about my worries
I like how I feel at peace after we've talked
I like how, when I look at the big picture, I can see that your way was so much better than mine
I like how you love me more than any person
I like waking up to each beautiful day you give me
I like how you have given me great friends
I like how quickly you answer some of my prayers
I like each day discovering new blessings you have given me

I like you
I love you
I adore you
I need you

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clams

So, the phrase: "Happy as a clam." Where did this come from? I spent at least four minutes pondering this tonight. Four minutes of brain power. Do clams just seem like over-exuberant creatures to everyone? I think not. To me, clams are just shells filled with living, writhing goop. Goop that I will never ever try to eat again.

But, really...clams can't smile - you've never seen a picture of them smiling, have you!?!? NOOOO. They don't laugh. They basically just mill around on the ocean floor, waiting to be eaten by sharks or other aquatic life or by us.

And what about the ones that can produce pearls? They spend their whole life nursing this pearl into existence. This perfect mother-of-pearl sphere. And when they have a perfect orb inside them, they are ripped open and their life's work is strung with a bunch of others around a plump rich lady's neck. This doesn't sound like a very fulfilling, happy existence. D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-N-G.

I'm sure you all have labored on the very same question as to the meaning of this phrase. together we can find an answer. together. yes.

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i'm walking the line

where are you?
i'm looking
i don't see you anywhere

i'm searching the horizon
just to catch a glimpse of you
nothing

sometimes, i think i see you
i've thought for sure before
but it was a mirage

as soon as i fix my eyes on you
you flicker away
and i'm left alone

one more broken heart
one more time to heal
one more opportunity to grow

are you lost?
or am i?
are we both wandering in circles?

i wonder if i'll ever find you
maybe you'll find someone else first
i'll arrive too late

no, i don't need you
but if i find you
i will be filled with joy

i'm happy now
i'm content
i hope you are too

our roads will meet
our paths will entwine
our hearts will join

please be out there
if you are
i'll find you

'till then: i'll keep on looking
i won't lose hope,
i can't

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take luck!

It is SOOO annoying when you say something wrong the wrong way.
And you can't fix it.

I just got back from talking with Piper Keith at Rib Crib. We were having this nice conversation, but he had to get back to his job, so as he turned and left, I said "Nice to meet you!"

!?!?!?

What?!

I already know Keith, we've talked before a couple times...and...and...it makes it seem as if I thought this was the first time we met, and I'm a jerk for not remembering.

What I meant to say was "Nice to see you," and I would have corrected myself there but he was already too far away. Ugh! My brain and mouth need to work together more often. I'm hoping he didn't notice, or at least knew that I just goofed, but idk...Eh, I'm probably just over-analyzing things.

Anyways...sorry it's been a while since my last post. I haven't really had too much mental power to focus on writing. I'll be really glad when this upcoming week is over, and most of my projects and tests are done!!!!!!

P.S. The post title is comes from Brian Regan, a commedian, where he talks fumbling over words...I thought it was appropriate. Listen to it. It's hilarious.

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I want...

So...I've decided I would post one of those "embarrassing" posts that I was talking about a few posts back. I should explain the content first. I recently read a chapter in this book that suggested writing letters to my future wife (fyi, the "warrior poet" line came from this book). So even though I'm years away from marriage...it still sounded like an interesting idea. So this is written for someone in particular. Someone that I don't know. Or don't think I know. Try not to make TOO much fun of it. Here it goes...


I want to be able to spend hours with you even if few words are spoken

I want to share everything with you

I want to be able to leave you alone when you need to be alone

I want to be your warrior poet

I want to hug and comfort you after a bad day

I want to feel at peace around you

I want to protect everything that makes you you

I want to trust you with every step we take together

I want to share both smiles and tears with you

I want to stand by you when we struggle

I want to take walks in the rain with you

I want to feel the excitement of the first kiss every time I kiss you

I want to thank God for every second that I am with you

I want to look into your shimmering eyes and see love

I want to understand you

I want to surprise you

I want to feel my heart leap every time I'm around you

I want to always be madly in love with you

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A great weekend so far

I believe this is the first weekend since the start of the semester that has actually felt like a weekend! I've done no school.

Friday after Spring Sing build crew was done I went with Adam and Katie to Little Rock, where we met Sully, Elizabeth, Jordan, and Katie, and then went to a nice little Mexican restaurant. It was good, better than the ones here in Searcy. The we went back to the Sullivan's, where we talked for a bit and then watched Sweeney Todd. It was pretty good. I didn't love it, but I liked it, and the music was enjoyable. There was blood. A LOT!

I then spent the night at the Colvin's, which was fun. Had to get up before 10 though because they had stuff to do for Marigolds at 10. Came back to the dorm, watched a couple episodes of 24, then went to breakfast at Bobby's with Natalie and Susan. After that I took a...TWO AND A HALF HOUR NAP!

It

was

awesome

Then...got up and decided that that our dorm room needed cleaning, so I tidied up the room and washed the dishes that were filling the sink. Kevin and I have been so busy lately that we have let our room go to pot. Natalie called me as I was finishing up and said her and Susan and others were going to have a cookout. We drove to some place out in the country, hiked up a cliff, and made a fire. Most of the group with us was planning to camp over night there, though Natalie, Susan and I were planning to leave around 11. So we were having a nice cookout, eating hotdogs and Smores...

Then the cops came.

Supposedly we were on private property.

But...fortunately the didn't arrest us.

Blah...it was stupid

But besides that ordeal, it has been a terrific weekend so far! I have just goofed off all day! It has been VERY cool. I hope I have more of these, because ever since I came to Harding, it seems like more and more my weekends start to look less like weekends. And more like homework days. But today has been a good break. Hope you all have had an amazing weekend so far too!

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stuff

A few things:

1. Two bad chapels in a row :(. It's depressing. It started out well. Jared Cook led singing, and we sang "The Greatest Command" song, which is one of my favorites. I just listened to people sing it today though, which was nice. Then we had someone stand up and give us about a 5-10 minute devo, and I thought we were done. But then we had someone introduce another speaker, and he talked for 15 minutes on blood and Leukemia and chromosomes. Which is a fine subject...for biology class. But I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

2. I've realized that I'm happier when I don't involve myself with too much "drama" (and I don't mean acting). I'm glad to help out and give advice, but it's not good to push myself into something that doesn't personally involve me.

3. The hot water in the Cone dorm is non-existent. I found this out last night when I was ready for a nice long hot shower. I turned on the water and waited for it to get warm. And waited.

...............waiting...............

Well it never did! :( I was hoping it was just our shower, so I got dressed again and scampered up to my friend Josh's room, hoping maybe I could use his shower. Here his roommate informed me that the hot water was out for the entire dorm. So I went back to my dorm, resigned to the fact I would have to take a cold shower. I was already feeling chilly before I got into the shower, thus, I was really looking forward to my nightly hot shower. too bad. I took a pretty quick shower, and then had some ramen noodles to warm me up. I hope they fix it soon though, because the water still wasn't warm this morning!

4. Today is disaster drill! I'm looking forward to it! I am excited to see what is going to be wrong with me.

5. I realize I post the most random stuff ever. You don't have to read to the end of my posts. I just enjoy writing them.

--EDIT--

Disaster Drill is now finished! It was fun. I assume photos of the calamity will start to populate Facebook soon. And since I had to take a shower to clean off, I found out our hot water is back on!

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naps

I wish I had more time for these. Because some days, I really need them! Like today. I was able to lay down for about 15 minutes just now, but had to get up to work in the lab. I was almost asleep and then my stupid phone alarm went off... *sigh*

hate that :(

Naps improve my mood too, which on a cloudy blah day like this, could probably use improving. Usually I wake up to a happy song that I've set my computer to play, and it makes me wake up with a smile. But I haven't had time for a good nap (at least one hour) in a long time!

Maybe...I should be taking better advantage of my chapel skips! I like to save them for the last couple of weeks to make those days go easier...but I usually end up going to chapel anyway. Today would have been a good day to skip. I'm sure the speaker had a good message, but I couldn't hear half of what he said. If I skipped on Tuesday or Thursday I could sleep till 11...mmmm...sounds nice :).

But alas, I'll just have to deal with another napless day. Well, me and this Rockstar will deal with it :)! This is an "original" Rockstar, the second one I've ever had. According to Daniel it's the man's Rockstar. It has a weird taste though, and it makes me go, and I quote, because I just incidentally made this noise after I took my first sip: "guhkkkkk." But I guess I like the taste of it. It's an experience.

Oh, and Happy April Fools day! I hope your day was great!!!

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Hesitation

There are things that I've written
That I haven't actually posted
Because they are saved as drafts
Because I am not sure if I should post them
Because they are kind of...hmmm
Potentially embarrassing
Probably stupid

If that makes sense...

Should I post them anyway?

Maybe...

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decisions

I need to make a decision about something soon.

A BIG decision!

At the moment, I have no idea how I'm going to make it...

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split

it's funny how I can feel two very different feelings about the same thing at the same time.

how something can cause my heart to rise and fall at the same time

how my heart ends up getting torn because it's moving in two directions at once

how half of my face wants to smile, while the other half wants bury itself so that no one can see

how I am so happy for someone, yet when I turn away, I cringe

how I want to forget, but I treasure those memories

how I wish I never knew how it felt, yet I realize that knowing made me better person

how I really want to speak, yet I really don't want to, because I shouldn't

how part of me wants to hold on forever, but at times I wished I never grasped at it the first place

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#1

So my first blog post.

EVER.

How momentous.

It feels odd to be writing on my own blog. Blogs are for sharing thoughts publicly, and I'm not known to do that. But I'm trying to get better at that; we'll see how this goes! I'll try at least once a week. I opened this account on Wednesday, so once I'm done with this post I don't have to worry about another one for a couple of days ;).  Haha, actually...I'm just going to make a post whenever I feel like it!

Anyway, I really didn't have anything specific to talk about this time, I just had time to write, now that Spring Sing is done. I'm going to see Little Shop of Horrors in a couple of hours!  I'm really excited to see it. I've never watched a live performance or the movie, but I have seen clips. I grew up listening to a mix cassette tape that had the Skid Row song on it (whenever we took trips when I was growing up Dad would usually pop in this tape sometime along the journey.) But I didn't actually know that the song was from Little Shop till last semester. 

Oh, and I'm ticked! Because my iPod went *cough* *cough* *sputter* and then flatlined. It did this before, last year, but I was able to get the hardrive working again by "spanking" it (which is actually recommended, though it sounds primitive.) Well, alas!...it hasn't worked :(. And I don't really have the funds to justify an iPod purchase.

That's probably enough randomness for my first post. I should work on getting my page looking not so bland and empty...

later though

I'm hungry

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